Sad Love Story

It had been raining for more than a week so much rain made every day seems so Restless and gloom she called and said she was coming up it was the third time she came up to see me that week I carried her excuse of why she came all the way here and what's a meter at the nearby Seminole she was standing alone carrying her red umbrella the fern I dropped her off it was raining and she was shivering she looked weak and fragile wearing not enough to keep her warm I walked up to her and said you shouldn't come here and see me no more and stuff like that we shouldn't be together she said I told her coldly let's go take you home she did not open up her umbrella I knew she wanted to share mine I said open up your umbrella let's go and willingly she opened up her umbrella and walked with me to the guard she says she had a new lunch or dinner and asked if I could stop at a place to eat right away I answered with a stone heart no disappointed she asked me to take her to the train station she said she would take the train back home maybe I was green all the trains were full of people-with umbrellas and suitcases who were eager to get home not caring about who just passed by we waited and waited she looked at me innocently being  together for so long I knew what  she meant I understand how she must feel when she came all this way here in this kind of weather and I treat her like with her soft eye staring at me I felt guilt wanted to let her stay from the night reality struck again I said to her coldly let's go try the others train station we're living in the same apartment building for the scene back then there were four of us and we all got along well we would always eat dinner together watch movies and sometimes go camping you were more like a family I didn't know I would end up falling in love with the only girl of the four maybe it was during the last four years of college I've been living together for two years we developed deep feelings for each other after she graduated she went  back home I stayed for one more year to finish school during that year I was only able to take the train down to see her on holidays never for long that was all we kept the treasured relationship we were walking on side of the road she was in front of me and I was right behind her our umbrella had a broken spoke she looked like a wounded soldier carrying rusted rifle walking weekly many times she was too much into thinking of whatever she was doing drifting off to the road she almost got hit by the cars passing by I wanted to just take her in my arms oh but the love I had for her and the constant pain inky stomach I did nothing on the way we passed by the park we used to / - she begged until it's going to practice well later why please the Brandi's never gone record it with her begging my cold heart softly but I still put up an annoyed face walked in the park I was just sitting on the benches looking like I wanted to leave she went to the big oak tree and she was looking for something I knew she was looking for what we wrote on my tree with a silvering pen half a year ago if I remember her right I said Chris and Susan see Chris had tea Susan was drinking hot chocolate Oh Chris and Susan will always remember this day always loving each other she was looking around for quite a while and she came back slowly tears on your face she said I can't fight it it's nothing anymore I felt so sorry as I was a stream of pain for my kind of pain all I could do was pretend I didn't care and say can we go now remember my big black umbrella she was just standing there I didn't want to leave you hoping and still Qin's she said you made it the story of you and that other girl didn't you I know I restrain you sometimes but I would change to his dad over I didn't say a word just looked up down and shook my head after that we just kept on walking towards the train station didn't say a word to each other four years ago the doctor said I had cancer but it was found early soil still curable thinking that it was okay I started living my normal life again and even forgot about the cancer I didn't think about the cancer again I did not go back to the doctor until a month agony stomach was hurting for two weeks straight and the nightmare awakened me again first I thought the pain would go away but he grew stronger until to the point that I couldn't take it anymore Went back to the doctor took an x-ray picture key now and there was a big black spawn which proved the truth that I did not want to believe I was at the most glittering part of my life but it was coming to an end I wanted myself and people around me to go forth least pain possible so I decided to commit suicide but I couldn't let people find out about my intentions especially season the person I loved most in this world who still doesn't know about the truth Susan was still young she shouldn't have to go through this so Made up some stories and lied to her was cruel thing to do in a broken heart but it was the fastest way to wipe out three years feelings I didn't have much time because I would soon start to lose hair she would find out eventually but now I'm close to succeeding this drama would soon be over thirty minutes more this would all come to an end that was what I had in mind the train had stopped running so I called the taxi for her we were just standing here waiting losing her last moments in silence saw the taxi from far away I held my tears and said to her take good care of yourself take good care of her she didn't talk just nodded lightly and then open up with a misshaped umbrella and stepped out on the street out in therein we became two single life forms one red one black so far from each other Opened the door for her and she got inland I closed the gate I would separate me from her forever I stood by the card staring in the dark window at the first love in my life also the last one walking out on my life the car started driving into the street finally Couldn't hold my sorrow and they twist in my heart any longer waving my arms rapidly chasing after the taxi because I knew this would be the last time I see her I wanted to tell herald I still love her I wanted to teller to stay I wanted to tell her so much but the taxi had already turned in the corner warm tears kept falling down my face blend it with cold raindrops I was cold not because of the rain I was cold inside she left I didn't get any more other phone calls and insults again I know she didn't see my tears because they were washed away by the rain this was a memory in her diary I found one year after she had gone writing down these last words....